survivor...

after battling with the cold that has been hiding in my system, i feel only a bit better. Seems that some of it is still inside me. so forgot a blog a day will make us stay... hahahahah anyway, i will continue this routine and hopefully this will turn out funny / great.

last nite' s talk with law law was fun, and yet supportive. i found that we are quite similar: youngest in the family, lazy, self centered, but caring, deep thinking, non-verbal...etc etc... but one big difference: a family with God and one without... sigh.... this is such a big difference. when he talked about how he wanted to be a great father etc etc it reminds me of my father: the great, knowledgeable and caring father of mine. if he does not exist while i was growing up (well, even though he was not physically exist in my space, but his dominence thru fax and phone was touching and still effective), i don't know what i will become - may be more feminine and whinny? hahahahaha yea.. too much female figures while i grow up during age of 18 - 21 and i slowly realize this is not rite and i can't make a male out of this group. hor hor hor... that's why i still have some feminie side.. sorry carol i hope i didn't scare you away. but honestly, as the time for me to become somebodies' husband, a potential dad, etc etc, pressure is on and it is defintely a new challenge to me. it is not only the fun we will have; not only a companionship, but also facing hardship together, living together and getting into ea other's space; supporting ea other when we are going thru the same thing; to love, to have patience, to have kindness and don't speak stupidly or act ridiculously to harm ea other and to get our own way; to be considerate, and slowly change our habits to accomdate ea other........ long list of to dos and it may not be as happy or romantic as it may seem. But I still want to do it coz i know I love carol and i know we will be like my parents: holding hands even though we are "lo-fuu-lo-cheai" (married for so long). I know God will be in our relationship as He is the one that pull us together, He is the one to hold us together. I can only hope, and try my best to be at least 1/2 of what my dad has become. I really hope i can.

Dad, the ultimate survivor, applause.... : )